The Classic Leading Man Test

I like Acidman. I've been ghost-reading his blog for sometime now. He's a crotchety old fart, prone to hissy fits every now and then, but if I had to ascribe a persona to somebody from the Old South, it would be his. An old friend once told me that he wouldn't piss on a certain individual's teeth if his gums were on fire. I could hear Acidman saying those exact words.

My numbers didn't quite match his percentages (nor should they), but it's a fun test, regardless. And were I lucky enough to be John Wayne, I would so quickly play "Home on the Range" with Maureen O'Hara, one's head would certainly spin.

(Edited) Sumbitch! I scored a John Wayne! Woohoo! Where's that buxom redhead?