Saturday, September 29, 2007

Alton Brown gets a case of ass, and grows man-boobs, too!

I confess - I used to really enjoy watching Good Eats. It was fun to watch, informative, and I even tried some of his recipes.

However, not too long ago, I saw an episode or three of The Next Food Network Star. Alton got a case of ass, and asked the judging panel if he could send the contestants home and start over. Yeah, sure. Like you were a big name on the Food TV circuit for a long time, and not an upstart yourself there, Alton, baby. Think about where you came from before you get snarky foot-in-mouth disease. You're not even close to Anthony Bourdain in that category, and your attempts at it really suck compared to Bourdain's polished delivery.

If you watch Iron Chef America, he snipes at Kevin Brauch on occasion, and his "Just walk away" schtick is tiresome at best. I'm sure the chefs have a pretty good idea of when their time's up, Alton, really.

So then there's the Alton-on-the-road series, named Feasting on Asphalt - The River Run. Yes he was a doofus, categorizing a stuffed porcupine as a nutria. I can forgive a city boy that gaffe. But my Gawd, watch the episode where he's wearing a tight-fitting black t-shirt! He definitely needs to spend time with Stacey and Clinton in What Not to Wear, because Alton has some serious man boobs. I mean, they'd make my high-school girlfriend jealous. Dude! He's also blimped up a goodly amount. No doubt about it, Alton has found himself on the receiving end of too much Good Eats, and it appears he needs to hire himself a personal fitness trainer.

So on a whim, I just google the terms Alton and man-boobs. Voila'! Funny he should post about people losing weight, when his definitely-bigger physique and impressive pecs aren't really from doing benchpresses: And now there's the upcoming Next Iron Chef, which already displays Alton's newfound snark. Joy.

Here's a vidcap of him with Minnesota Smorgasbord Lady, (his) mammaries still quite evident:

Sometimes, even the good ones mess up...

Marko posted a stinker here:

"The spirit and intent of the Second Amendment protects AR-15s and HK91s before Marlin .30-30s and bolt-cranked aught-sixes. The ability to go and shoot deer and such is just a fringe benefit of the ability to be a counterbalance to an armed government. Next time some Fudd mouths off about how 'you don't need an assault rifle to hunt', remind them of the fact that they're just hanging on the coat tails of the rest of us. If the Supremes ever uphold Miller in all its implications, it would mean that the government can ban deer guns, but not military weaponry."

Yeah, sure. And the next time some ARFCOM groupie mouths off about "your bolt-cranked Remington 700 being an adjunct to the Second Amendment", ask him why you cannot use said rifle to become a long-range hero of the upcoming revolution...

Fudds are one thing, but elitism stinks from the other end, too. Nor does it help deliver the RKBA message. I apologize for Marko's posting - I honestly think he knows better.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

The quality goes in, before the name goes on...

So I sat there for the better part of a rainy afternoon, carefully weighing 70gr of Goex Cartridge BP, seating a fiberboard wad, kissing the charge with a powder compression die, and then seating the 535gr Postell bullets. In the end, I was rewarded by 20 little soldiers, reminiscent of Emperor Qin's buried terracotta army standing aligned and at attention.

They were almost too pretty to shoot!